By Liz Adit, Canada
Listen, yes, I am a feminist and yes I understand that there’s so much an array of ideas and convictions of what feminism is or should be. Just like a good number of women and men out there, I choose to define my feminism in the best way I think represents my thoughts and beliefs.
Here, I will use a different approach. Because I can’t take away a thing from Joan Thatiah’s discussion on feminism, I will use her writing. This lady was seeing through my mind and brain when writing on feminism. This is to say that I endorse her writing, with full credits given, I will choose to use her work to describe my feminism.
I will not change a thing. Her tone is mine and her words would have been mine should I have written on this topic before her, lol. I love her books, the ones I have read (I am too pretty to be broke and other lies you have been telling yourself, and Things I will tell my Daughter).
Be an informed Feminist
“I am a Feminist. I can count the number of times I have said this out loud. While I support feminism and the things that it stands for,I am also overly aware of the fact that feminism is a touchy subject that evokes a range of emotions. What I am most aware of though is that there is a lot of misinformation out there on what it means to be a feminist. Most of the strong emotions the subject evokes are coming from a form of misinformation. A lot of people who hate feminism and some of feminism’s loudest advocates are misguided on what feminism stands for. I guess I have taken to reserving my opinions of it during discussions for a fear of being misunderstood.
I must start by saying that feminism is a personal choice. It isn’t a campaign. You have a choice of whether or not to join the feminism bandwagon. It isn’t a club of sorts that one needs to join so that they can be considered liberated. You can only be in a position to make the decision to be a feminist if you have educated yourself on its history and ideologies. You can’t be a true feminist until you understand what it is that you are ascribing to.
The first wave of feminism hit planet Earth in the 19th and early 20th century. The world back then was largely patriarchal and the fight then was for the legal rights of women, for example, the right to vote. It was women fighting oppression by the system. The second wave, which was in the 60’s, was against the cultural gender norms which have been imposed on the sexes, such as the idea that women can’t be professionals or that they must be domesticated. We are now riding on the third wave of feminism.
The 1985 United Nations Decade for women meeting that was held in Nairobi was the turning point in the kind of domesticated Women’s agenda that the colonial Maendeleo ya Wanawake had fronted for decades. The events which many christened as “the birth of global feminism” asserted Women’s rights as human rights. At the meeting, issues like the legitimacy of women as workers within the home and without and the inequalities that women faced in education, healthcare and work were discussed.
As a result of this meeting, Kenyan women today have made huge strides with regards to things they can do. The 1997 presidential bids of Wangari Mathaai and Charity Ngilu shifted the local conversation on a woman’s place in our society. Little girls being born today see life possibilities beyond being pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. With these strides, feminism has evolved. Feminism today isn’t a push for women’s rights.
Feminism has now evolved into a push for human rights. The most accurate definition of feminism, borrowed from Merriam- Webster dictionary, is having the belief that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities. If you choose to be a feminist today, you will be supporting the ideal of men and women being social, political and economic equals.
Feminism today is no longer a bid to re-integrate women back into the society, it is a bid to keep both sexes there. Feminism isn’t an angry fight to get women from under the patriarchal oppression so that they can trample all over men. It is a fight for the equity of the sexes. It is a fight for the equal rights and opportunities for the sexes. A feminist is a person who sees another human being before they see themselves as either male or female.
Things feminism isn’t
There are definitely many more feminists today than there were, say a century ago. The history of feminism is littered with many radical groups of women. First, there were the Angry Wimmin in the 1970’s and the 80’s in Britain. These one’s opted to use anger to fight female oppression. They resorted to dropping their father’s names and even disowning their sons in way they claimed were efforts to fight male oppression. Then there was the Vagina Monologues, a play written by Eve Ensler, an American playwright and feminist, which had its first public viewing in Nairobi in 2003.
The Vigina Monologues performance was made up of a number of Monologues read by a number of women touching on issues like sex, rape, menstruation, birth, orgasms, female genital mutilation and masturbation. The recurring theme throughout the performance was the use of vagina as the vagina as a tool of female empowerment. The intention was to use the performance to fight sexual violence against women but someone listening from outside heard a woman with a constricted view of sexuality. A woman who views womanhood as not a combination of experiences but as having a vagina.
The Ukrainian Topless Jihadis, put together by a theater student in 2008 are yet another radical group. These ones opted to try and reclaim their power by going topless. Their naked breasts were their biggest weapons. I am not sure how effective baring their breasts to the world was in fighting against sexualization of women.
In 2009, Kenyan women activist groups declared a week long sex boycott in protest of discord in the government. The campaigners asked the President’s wife and the Prime Minister’s wife to join in the strike. They were hoping that these two women would whisper words in favour of the cause to their husbands. The campaign only elicited resistance from men.
The most recent group of radical feminists is the Free bleeding Movement founded in the US by a feminist only known as Florence in 2013. This movement is a very clear example of things that feminism isn’t. The Free Bleeding movement is for the idea of women not concealing menstruation. When on their period, the free bleeders let themselves bleed out onto their clothes, the floor, and the bus seat, everywhere…they bleed without constriction.
By free bleeding members of this movement claim that they are fighting a period shaming. Their argument is that pads and the tampons represent patriarchy. They argue that when a woman is forced to use feminine hygiene products when she is menstruating, society is instilling unfair expectations on women. Some of them have even equated the use of tampons with being raped.
I think that the idea of women bleeding freely is not only unsanitary but also childish. You can’t walk into someone’s house during your period, bleed all over their couch and then cry feminism. That isn’t empowerment, it is being irresponsible. It is using feminism as an excuse for refusing to take responsibility for your hygiene. And how, I beg, will displaying your period for all to see change societal expectations on women? What the free bleeders seem to forget is that your freedom ends where another’s begins.
I recently read a misinforming piece on a blog telling Nairobi women that they have no business learning how to put together a gourmet meal. The empowered feminist, the author wrote, is busy chasing money, not fresh vegetables. What I know to be true is that one can be both a lady and a feminist. Feminism isn’t limiting. This is the second thing that feminism isn’t. Feminism isn’t a law that forces women to throw away their femininity or to try to be manlier. Feminism is a set of ideals that even ladies can embrace.
In as much as feminism is pushing for equal rights between the sexes, feminism is acknowledging the differences between the sexes. It’s acknowledging that while a man may be handier around the house, a woman may be better with the interior décor. It is acknowledging that men and women have been gifted different abilities. Feminism isn’t abandoning your strong points so that you can be more like the other gender.
It is being comfortable in your own and acknowledging that the differences do not make you superior or inferior, they make you different. It is beginning to understand that it is okay if you find yourself endeared to different things from those that are dear to the other sex. Loving pink, fluffy things doesn’t make you less of a feminist. It is okay if you want to pursue a career that is female-dominated. It is also okay if male dominated career is your strong point.
Alot of people imagine that feminists have a handbook filled with lists of eulea that they have to abide by. The truth is that feminism is ascribing to a certain set of ideologies. Feminism is a fight against particular attitudes. It doesn’t force one to only go with one idea. It gives you choices. You can be a lady or not, you can be pro-life or pro-choice, you can choose to go natural or wear makeup. As long as you hold the opinion that men and women deserve equal opportunities, then you are a feminist. There isn’t on tailored set of characteristics that make a feminist.
Feminists aren’t man haters
Then there is this misguided belief that feminists are men haters who are trying to turn all women into lesbians. This is the belief that has led the African society to shun feminism because there is the fear that turning women into feminists will destroy the traditional family unit. As a result, there is a woman out there that believes in the equal rights of both men and women but who is scared of identifying as a feminist because she has heard that feminists hate men and yet she loves men. Feminism isn’t being anti-men. In fact, there are men who are feminists. If you desire to, be a lesbian, hate men if you want to, but do not peg it on feminism.
The truth is that it is possible to attain equal rights for the sexes without one sex hating the other. In fact, it would be impossible for the sexes to attain a level of playing field both socially or economically unless they were working together. Feminism isn’t a threat to family unit. If anything, if both sexes advance, then the family unit benefits.
“She made a pass at you?” That’s a compliment. What’s there for you to complain about? This was how a female colleague responded when a 28- year – old Kirigua, a computer programmer in Nairobi, confided about getting sexually harassed by their female boss. “I was embarrassed and wished I hadn’t confided in her. I didn’t speak about this incident to anyone else. The female boss continued making remarks laden with sexual innuendo, she would brush herself up against me when she came to my work station completely ignoring the fact that I wasn’t attracted to her. It got increasingly uncomfortable I started looking for another job and quietly left the company.”Kirigua shared.
His story mirrors that of many young men in the corporate world. Everyone is shocked when a man reports that he has been sexually harassed. How? He is asked. He is expected to enjoy all the female attention that comes his way. Just because women were disadvantaged in the past, and men were advantaged, any struggles that men have today are belittled. This is the mindset of a lot of people who identify as feminists. They are wrong. Feminism is acknowledging the struggles that men face. It is acknowledging that in some quarters, women are more privileged than men.
There is also the misguided notion that feminism is an organization of women with low self-esteem seeking to validate their self-worth by bashing men. It isn’t. Feminists are allowed to be angry about things but feminism isn’t about anger or gender bashing.
What feminism looks like
So what does feminism look like? A feminist is a human being, either male or female. A feminist can be a high-flyer in the corporate world, a feminist can also be a stay-at-home mother. She can have a conservative sense of dressing. A feminist may be gay or straight. The only thing that all feminists have in common is the belief that both genders deserve a level playing field.
If you embrace feminism, then do not make the salient mistake that a lot of feminists do. Be careful not to demonize or hate those women who are not feminists. Remember that it is a personal choice and just like we tolerate those with different ideals in life, we should tolerate those who do not agree with what feminism stands for.” Joan Thatiah.
Liz Adit is a South Sudanese student at McGill University in Canada. You can read more of her beautifully inspiring articles and thoughts on her blog: https://lizadit.home.blog
